an ode to one’s self; postmortem

i am sorry.
it just got too hard.
waking up everyday broken. and drown.
i can picture your smiling face,
and feel your disappointment,
and despair.

i’m not weak when i say it got too hard.
letting go was the greatest feat.
but my departure was not one of celebration
and i do not feel jubilation or success
i feel a long-lasting numbness
which is what i had wished to escape
and for that,
i am sorry